TexasMan Half Ironman May 16, 2010

Warning: this is a long and sentimental race report. It was a grueling day that made me very grateful for the pieces of my life.

Short report: Total time 6:41:40. Swim 36:59, T1: 2:26, Bike 3:22:47 (16.6 average), T2: 1:13, Run: 2:38:03 (12:04 average). 25 Females and 175 Males started the race. 127 total people crossed the finish line.

I have put off writing this post for some reason. It's hard to go back and analyze this race. I'll just start at the beginning.

Training: followed triathlongeek.com's Half Ironman program and loved it. Really loved it, I followed the intermediate workouts as I wasn't looking to just finish, I had time goals. It was easy to fit each workout into my day and I loved the feeling of satisfaction each workout gave me. I had my fastest swim splits ever during some of the training as well as the best brick workout I've ever had. I was confident of my physical self being ready for this race.

The morning of: After a decent night's sleep (10pm to 3:30am, WAY more sleep than I got before my first and only other half ironman in 2006) Diana, Evan, and I loaded up the car and drove north to Lake Ray Roberts. I felt a little rushed in the transition area because I was the first swim wave. I've never been the first swim wave before and it made me anxious for some reason.

The swim: I will never forget standing on the beach as the sun is coming up over the lake and having Evan by my side. I was so proud of him for all the training he had put in and how much he had changed his lifestyle over the last few months. As we gave each other one final hug, I couldn't help but get emotional because I was so freaking nervous and as my best friend and husband, my emotions are the most tender with him.

Finally, we're swimming. Man, I love swimming. Seriously, I love swimming in open water so much. I'm really glad swimming is the first part of racing because it really calms me down and gets me in a groove. I made what I think were straight lines and my sighting was dead on. It was the most confident I've ever been about my path between buoys. The only frustrating thing was I found it really hard to tell where I was in the pack. I know I'm normally near the front in the swim but because the Olympic people started after us and had a shorter route I got confused. Didn't matter though. The wetsuit strippers were great and huge bonus, I didn't lose my pants! It was the first time I had on a 2 piece tri suit and I've heard stories of ladies getting the pants stripped off accidently. : )

Transition 1: Went without a hitch, Evan was there...he was in the second wave and beat me up there! Yay, Evan!! Windy, Grace, and Jason were all there too cheering for me. I don't think Amanda was there yet. It's hard to focus on people's faces as your whizzing by them, lol. ; )

Bike: Oh, the bike. Me and the bike. I have a confusing relationship with my bike. I like hills, I like hills better then flatland but it really didn't seem to matter that much. I had ridden the course 2 weeks before so I knew what I was getting myself into and that didn't seem to matter too much either. I just don't understand how people are fast on the bike. I don't know what they're doing that I'm not doing. Much research needs to go into this because I'm sick of being slow on the bike. In Galveston (24.4 miles) I averaged 19 mph. Here my goal was 17 because of the hills and distance. I ended up with 16.6 and I fought for every last second of that 16.6.

About 20 miles into it my left glut got a nasty twinge in it. Not a cramp, not something that seemed to need to get stretched out, a sharp twinge. It felt like if I turned my leg the wrong way it would snap in half. It was incredibly painful and totally messed with me. I have never had that happen before. I thought about what Evan said before the race, "It's ok if something goes wrong. Something will probably go wrong, but it will be fine and you will move beyond it." I thought, this will go away, it always goes away, focus on your turnover and your speed. At one point I unclipped that foot from the pedal to stretch it and had such a freaking hard time clipping back in because my leg was shaking. Whoa...my legs are working, working a lot harder then I thought they were.

Eventually I made it back to the park and I've never been so happy to run in my life. I needed off that bike ASAP or I was going to freak out. I couldn't wait to run. I trained all 16 weeks doing the run of my bricks between 8:35 - 9:00 min miles. I knew I could do it.

The run: my friends and family are so amazing. The cowbells, the cheering, it was so overwhelming. I was so happy running out of transition. Barney was in transition with me and it was just so awesome to see someone I knew who understood the beating that I just took on the bike. Evan ran with me for about 100 yards and totally pumped me up. My leg didn't bother me at all. I was feeling good.

I don't remember the first time that I walked. My watch was off because I didn't start it until like 7/10 of a mile in. I remember getting out to the road and seeing Courtney, Rob, and Kris and still having a pep in my step. I think I made it all the way to the turn around and back to the path before I started walking. I had to pee really bad and there were no porta-potties so snuck behind a tree. My quads first starting cramping around mile 2 so I knew something was weird. Cramping is really normal for me but not until the absolute end of a race. I took in as much salt and sugar as I had on me and more from the aid stations.

Everyone was waiting for me at the start of my second loop. As I first came around the corner there was my dad and then the Courtney gang with my mom. Then my trackie buddies. We run every Tuesday night at the track and then go out for beer afterwards. They were all there and made their presence known. : ) I was feeling like such crap in that moment though it's really blurry. I know I touched Troy's arm and said, "Tag, you're it." (Later he told me that my hand was freezing when I touched him. Not a good sign.)

The last group was Diana and Beth. Diana did the Olympic distance and PR'd her run. I lost it when I saw her. Of all the people, I knew that she would be able to tell what I was going through because we've done every race together the past year. We've analyzed them all with each other and almost all my long training is done with her. It was like I had permission to break down when I saw her. Man, I was in a dark, dark place. Miles 3 to 9 are really blurry, I remember very little of them. Beth ran with me for a little but I could barely run and had no energy to talk or be happy.

Some different personalities started to show themselves about this time. All I knew was that I didn't want to keep going. I had to stop. I knew it was hot but I didn't even realize that it was draining me (and everyone else) of everything. I was having a really hard time processing logical thoughts. I had trained in windy, moderate weather. Not 90 degrees and humid. The week before the high was in the 60's with a cold breeze from the north. Our bodies were not acclimated to this weather.

I get back out to the road and think there is no way in hell I can go out along the open road, under this sun again. I can't do it. I made a quick turn into the same woods area I had peed in before and crouched down in the shade. I starting looking at my watch and thinking about how long I would need to wait before I could just turn around and finish. This alternate personality thought for sure no one would know and that would be the only way this could happen. I was either going to sit there for 20 minutes and then run to the finish line or I was just going to quit. Those were my only options.

After what was probably close to 2 minutes (but felt like 5) the real Michelle's voice finally emerged from the depths of my mind and said, "what the hell. You can't even tell white lies, and you're going to cheat a half ironman? You're wasting time, get your ass back out there."

So I did. I shuffled, walked, and "ran" my way to the turn around and back past my spot in the woods. Once you got back on the path from the road, there was a long, gradual hill and there was my dad waiting for me. My dad biked alongside me the first time I ever ran 20 miles back in 2001, he ran mile 20 - 23 with me of my first marathon, he was there to watch me finish the Lake Tahoe Marathon in 2003, and he was in Galveston in 2006 for my first half ironman. He has seen me in pain. : ) I was so thrilled to see him and my mood had started picking up under the confidence that I had indeed finished the open road part a second time and that I could go 2 more miles. He walked up the hill with me and then Jason, who was the runner of Evan's relay team caught me. I was so thrilled to see him and after I gave him a big, sweaty hug he said we're finishing this thing together!! From that moment on you couldn't get the smile off my face. We saw my awesome mom who started screaming and yelling and telling everyone, "That's my daughter, that's my daughter!!!!" So awesome. We turned the corner to the finish line and there was the rest of my cheering crew. They stayed out in that oppressive heat for 6 hours and 41 minutes to see me finish and they all let me give them salty, sweaty hugs afterwards!

Upon reflection: I've never thought that I gave a race everything I had. I've always thought the next day, well, I could of probably gone faster here or at that part. Not this one. I know in each of those moments I was leaving everything that I had that day out on the course. I have zero regrets and am filled with content and happiness that I finished what I started. I didn't meet all my goals but that's not really how life works. You take what you're given on that day and do it to the best of your ability.

I am so grateful to my mom and dad who have never missed a big race, my husband, his relay team and their wonderful families, especially Jason for never letting me think I was alone out there on that run course. I am so grateful to Courtney, Rob and Kris for being there and supporting the athlete in me. My incredible running friends. We haven't even know each other a year and yet they have changed my life forever. Thanks to Diana, Beth, Troy, Barney, Jim, Jay, Nick, Colleen, Marty, Tia, Doug and Mary. Also, special thanks to my personal bike mechanic, Diana's husband Dan. : ) If you made it this far, thanks for reading.

Next up! Grapevine Paddle, Pedal, and Pound Sprint Triathlon next weekend!