Post Lean Horse Blues

Racing a 50 miler was one thing.  Recovering from a 50 miler is a test all in itself.

I've had a rough go at it the last month.  I thought I was doing things right, I started nice and slow.  The first week back I didn't do anything but 2 yoga classes.  I would have done more yoga but I was still so dehydrated and since I do Bikram yoga I just didn't have anything to sweat out.  I had a headache for 9 days I was so dehydrated.  I did a few runs the next week and I just went a little too far and just a little too fast on each of them.  I didn't run far and I didn't run fast but it was more than my body was ready for.  Such a very fine line.  So, my IT Bands on each leg really starting give me some trouble.  I stopped running and have stuck with swimming, cycling, yoga, and weights for the last 2 weeks.

It's been great to get back into swimming and cycling.  Erin needed a cycling buddy and I was reluctant, cycling isn't normally something I look forward to but I changed my flat tire, dusted off the cobwebs and met her for a Saturday ride.  Well, it was awesome.  I hadn't had that much fun on the bike in a long time.  I have basically taken 14 months off from the bike.  I'd maybe been on my bike 10 times in the last 14 months.  My last triathlon was RiverCities in August 2010.  That time off seems to have done the trick because my passion for cycling and triathlon is renewed.

Me and Erin on that first ride

I'm still amazed at how much Lean Horse did a number on me.  In one sense, I'm really happy it has taken me so long to recover.  That to me means I left everything and more out on the course that day.  It means my body was ready to quit but my mind was stronger than body.  I've had probably the worst post-race depression I've ever experienced.  After my last 70.3 triathlon that I trained so hard for I finished and thought, "meh." I didn't feel this overwhelming accomplishment, I was just tired and pissed at the weather and mad that another 70.3 didn't go the way I wanted.  After Lean Horse, I'm still very proud of my accomplishment.  I wouldn't change a thing about that race and it satisfied so many internal wants for me I think I'm scared that no race or challenge will be able to live up to it.  I feel lost and confused on where to turn next.  My body is loudly telling me that it needs a bit of a change but I'm not sure what my mind wants.

I ran 9 trail miles today and was just in heaven.  I wanted to run all morning.  I didn't have a ton of leg pain but I was very cautious.  I know that there's no need to make a decision on anything right now.  I don't need to sign up for a race, I don't have to push myself.  But that's not me.  I'm a goal oriented person and I want to push myself.  In this "recovery" month I've done two-a-days twice a week, three-a-days twice a week and something all the other days.  None of it is running, but my enthusiasm for becoming a better, stronger athlete is higher then ever.  I have a few races that I'm signed up for and a few races that I've had to forego.  I know with more time the fog will clear and Lean Horse won't be the "Everest" to me that it is now.  In the mean time though, let me know if you want to join me for a ride.